Leviticus 20:13 : Keeping Traditional Values Alive

I need to give you some context for this one or else you'd be super confused.

A while back there was a Facebook group encouraging people to wear purple to honor the gay kids who recently committed suicide because of bullying, and, since it was on Facebook, there was the opportunity for people to leave comments. Some asshole posted this:

Gay is a sin just to let you know.... Adam and Eve not Steve, but yeah a picture of a man and a woman being affectionate is morally correct. Two guys or girls is a disgrace to everything life stands for.Gay is a way to try and get attention... from peers who would never talk to them otherwise. Any F****** person who likes their same sex is deemed to hell in my opinion. Straight is the only way sorry guys. Lev 20:13 "If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death; their blood will be on their own hands."

Besides the poor grammar, the sheer cruelty and evil of posting this on a page dealing with suicide - child suicide, for fuck's sake! - greatly offended the values and sensibilities I've been instilled with as a result of not being an inbred insanely religious freak from rural Appalachia. So, of course, I responded with a message that was, unfortunately, lost forever because the original comment was deleted by the admins. Here it is:

Yup! That's exactly what Leviticus 20:13 says. Similarly, Exodus 35:2 lays out an important rule for us, though in the latter's case, it says we should put anyone to death who works on the Sabbath. Also in Exodus (21:7) is the part where we're allowed to sell our daughters into slavery. The Bible is just choked full of all sorts of fun rules! Some of my other favorites includes the "facts" that we should stone people to death who plant different crops side by side, and we should most certainly burn women to death who wear clothes sewn from different types of thread! On the bright side, though, slavery is a perfectly acceptable practice!

Isn't it interesting how people like you pick and choose what parts of the Bible to follow? Or are you really prepared to go home and sell your child, because you're late on your rent? Kill your sister for wearing that Macy's sweater made of polyester and - God forbid - cotton? Stone your nephew to death for growing peach and olive trees next to each other?! Oh the depravity!! Surely you must do these things, since the good book so expressly stresses their importance. 

I wish you good luck in these endeavors. Oh! And don't forget: If you find all this to be too much work for just one person, you can always buy a slave to help you out.

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Basically, if you're going to use the Bible to justify marginalizing an entire group of people and treating them as second class citizens, don't even bother talking to me.  
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And yes, for those of you that were wondering, this is pretty obviously a scene from West Wing put in to written/ non-dialogue/ more tangent-y form. Of course, I added some commentary in my exceptionally brilliant voice, so writing this wasn't entirely pointless!


For those of you that want to see the original scene (Dear Aaron Sorkin, you are my hero.), here it is:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1-ip47WYWc