Series on Cities No. 1: Los Angeles, California, United States

I know I said that not all of my blogs would be rants, but this one kind of turned out that way. Sorry...

As mentioned in my first post, I plan on writing a series of blogs about the major (or simply well known) cities I have been to and how I felt about them. I intended for these posts to be short; in fact, I originally wanted to just write one blog briefly discussing the cities I've been to so far. Unfortunately, though, I decided to start with Los Angeles, which I have a... er... very strong opinion about. Apparently, I needed to release the years of pent of hatred in a long healthy rant. 

Anyway, here is the first in the series, LA...

I live here, so maybe I'm just sick of it, but either way, I think LA is a dirty city, with lots of smog, average beaches, and terrible weather. Sure, Hollywood is cool... for a day, the 3rd Street Promenade and the Grove are nice shopping destinations, and I love to drive through Beverly Hills creepily staring into celebrities' houses just as much as the next girl, but let's face it, those places aren't like the majority of LA. People seem to forget that Santa Monica, Hollywood, and Venice Beach are not the whole city (BTW, Beverly Hills isn't even part of the City of Los Angeles.). The real LA includes places like Van Nuys (Oooh fun!), Lincoln Heights (Hope I don't get robbed!), and Encino (I don't even know why I included this one; there's nothing to do there.) Ohhh, and don't forget the ever lovable Watts! If you want to see some real gangsta culture and possibly take home a souvenir in the form of a story about a mugging, then that's the places to go! (To be fair, the Watts Towers are actually supposed to be really cool.)

Anyway, it's true that there are a lot of restaurants and shops in Los Angeles... but then again, there are bound to be many in any city of LA's size, simply as a result of its massive population. In fact, I bet you that Yangoon has just as many restaurants and shops as LA does, but like in Yangoon (I'd guess.), you have to sort through all the sketchy trash in LA to find the good stuff, though you'd probably also have to dodge bullets in Yangoon. Maybe that's the appeal of LA? There is lots of stuff to do and little threat of being killed [unless you're in Watts (JKing. Well, mostly...)]!  

Now, let's talk about my favorite part of the LA stereotype (This one really pisses me off.): The Beautiful California Sun and the Glorious Beaches. BEAUTIFUL WEATHER AND SUN, MY ASS! It was 113 degrees here a few weeks ago. ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN DEGREES IS NOT NICE WEATHER! Anyone who says it is, needs to pack up and move away from Antarctica. And the beaches? Psh! They're average. Totally average. If I wanted murky water, I'd go splash around in the troughs of water that form behind my house after it rains. If you want a nice beach, go to HAWAII OR MIAMI! Hell, even Catalina, San Diego, and places farther north like Carpenteria are way better than Zuma. 

Ohhh and a little tip to visitors, you better rent a car, cause the public transit system here is A GIANT PIECE OF CRAP. Do you know how long it takes to drive from UCLA to USC? Less than 15 minutes. Do you know how long it takes using public transit? AN HOUR AND A HALF! WTF. Even if you do drive, THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY CARS ON THE ROAD, so unless you only travel at 3 AM, there will ALWAYS be traffic, and don't even get me started on... the... 405, because the 405 is pretty much the Anti-Christ of freeways.


I will leave you with the facts that the smog sucks, people don't know how to drive, and every time Obama comes to town, THEY CLOSE DOWN THE 405! Do you know what happens when you close down the Devil of freeways? Do you? The rest of the freeway system experiences the Highway Apocalypse and every Los Angelenos that drives dies a little inside.

Overall rating: 2.5 Stars. 

Would I live here? No... wait... apparently, yes. Fml.

That's basically years of pent up anger. My apologies.